He was probably just about to go into that McDonalds and order some food. Looks like the attacker just did him a favor.

She's having a dance party... by herself.

That swarm of defending guys beating the piss out of you from every direction might be the #1 reason actually.

Speeding on wet roads and pedestrians walking in the street doesn't mix well.

And it's also why he never made it to the X-Games.

And besides the problems with her physic she's butt ugly too.

There must have been a red bandanna wrapped around that treadmill somewhere.

Forget those weak eggs in a frying pan commercials from the 90's. If they showed this instead no one would ever light ...

Sorry guys I ment why chick sould drink.

That truck scared the shit out of that minivan. I'll go sit in the corner.

UPS - Ur presents suck.

It must be really hard for him to decorate his bedroom with floral arrangements with his arm shaped like that now.

I guess that steady diet of soup, Worther's Original and prune juice doesn't exactly build a solid muscle core.

Just in case those after school specials had no effect on you.

What was previously thought to be self-explanatory apparently is anything but.

Need a reason why not to try and hop over a metal spike fence? This guy's nuts will give you two.

You know, just in case the weed whacker haircut didn't give it away at first.

And this is why I have sex with rowboats and not girls.

I can't speak Russian, but I'm pretty sure that means he's not welcome.

Well this video of some dude in Iraq fucking his donkey explains it all.

She should be more careful. When your head is no longer connected with your spine, it's extremely hard to make a pie. ...

If there is any time you don't want to act retarded and make a mistake, it's when you got a life grenade in your hands...

Drunk people look ugly but this guy takes the prize. Or has it something to do with him being smashed to pieces?

Good judgement by the tank spotter and gun operator. Waving hands can by dangerous things these days.

Cleary after a good workout you have to rehydrate with a glass of wine.

Calling this a "slap" is definitely an understatement. But you should expect nothing less from Mr. Miyagi's grandson. ...

Vandalism is bad. Karma is beautiful.

I've just been put off by milk for life... and showers.

This is where they should've sent Michael Vick. And Martha Stewart.

Retarded, tired of living tourist climbs into an active vulcano.